Two vampires introduce you to their world

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” blared the PA, ripping me out of my reverie, “The captain has turned on the … ”  etc., etc.,
The plane was approaching Los Angeles International Airport and my remembrances of Lilly would have to wait for another time.
I fastened my seat belt like a good little boy and watched a nervous passenger biting his [...]

My “answer” clearly did not satisfy her, but she didn’t push it.
I swept my arm to the right like a magician introducing his next trick.  “If you would care to step this way, my car is just around the corner.”
“Your car?”
“Yes.  I can either drive you home or I can take you dancing.  Which would [...]

While I was trying to think of step two, the black girl was already there.
“Put him in his chair behind the desk,” she said in a calm and authoritative voice.  Apparently the fact that I’d helped her by rendering Mr. Big Time unconscious put her in charge.  Well, I didn’t mind.  I was finding this all very [...]

The plane had just reached cruising altitude and the stewardess was passing out peanuts.  I declined her kind offer, telling her I didn’t eat beans.  She obviously was unaware of the taxonomical categorization of peanuts (they are legumes) so she didn’t get the joke and I wasn’t really in the mood for explaining it to her.
The [...]